Resting Nice Face

A discussion topic sparked by “Papercut”

Image by un-perfekt from Pixabay

This article was originally published on Medium.

Gabriel is a high school-aged boy who has to spend his Saturdays proselytizing door to door with his Jehovah’s Witness mom. On one of their pamphlet-handing-out excursions, they happen to come up on the house where Clio, a girl from Gabriel’s school, lives. Embarrassment ensues.

As well as fantastical adventures into distant realms, in keeping with the theme of Simon Dillon’s new anthology The Dark Forest Within in which the excellent “Papercut” appears. Since this piece is about a short story as opposed to a whole novel, I’ll just stop right here in terms of the plot.

I will say there is a papercut involved, but that’s it. And that there was one particular thing about the story that I was fixated on.

‘She has a kind face…’

Clio is sitting by herself at lunch, and Gabriel works up the nerve to ask if it’s ok to sit with her. I got the impression that they didn’t really have any classes together or any other interaction during the school day, so I thought it was quite remarkable and brave of Gabriel. I asked my daughter if that sort of thing really happens at school in real life.

She said yes since it happened to her. She was new since she was a freshman and didn’t come in with a built-in friend group from middle school. I asked her, “What do you think made Emily (I don’t remember what my daughter said her name was, but oh well now she’s Emily) want to sit with you?” And she replied, “I think it’s because she thought I had Resting Nice Face.”

I had never heard that term before! Only its opposite, “resting bitch face.” According to Wikipedia, the first usage of RBF was circa 2003, but the concept has been around much longer than that. I was once told by someone in the early 90s that I “looked mean.” I was super offended because I don’t think I am mean, and it’s not my fault if the corners of my mouth are not perpetually turned upwards in a shy, sweet smile. I’m happy that my daughter and Clio were both lucky to be born with RNF, but I just want to put in a good word for my fellow RBFs.

If you see someone by their lonesome in a social situation like at school, work, or a party, please don’t assume they are an asshole just because of the way their face naturally sits when they aren’t trying to convey any kind of emotion, and then make some lame excuse for not approaching them in a friendly non-threatening manner like “oh they look busy, they’re eating/reading/looking at their phone/etc.”

Yes, there is non-zero risk in going up to someone when you don’t know anything about them other than they seemingly have RBF. They very well could be a straight-up bitch. But you never know, they could in actuality be a nice person and your new best friend. Or even soul mate!