This article first appeared in ’s great Medium pub The Riff.
Incredibly, the OG quintessential orphan from Charles Dickens’ almost-two-centuries-old novel Oliver Twist rears his head not just once, but twice in the year 2024.
There will be another revival of the Lionel Bart stage musical in the West End this December by famed choreographer and director Matthew Bourne. If any of my British friends are lucky enough to go (perhaps
?), please post us a review!But here Stateside, earlier this year we had the great One Day series on Netflix in which a school production of Oliver! makes a hugely memorable (at least for me) appearance. It was so influential that not only did it make me rewatch the 2011 One Day movie (I wrote about it recently here), but I also watched the 1968 Best Picture Oscar winner Oliver! for the first time.
It was almost perfect, except the ending for me was so jarring
I must have mentally blocked it out because I don’t recall the story unfolding that way when I watched the Sam Mendes-directed revival at the London Palladium in 1998. The ending I remembered was from a certain version of the novel I read when I was very young. An extremely abridged, illustrated edition, since I couldn’t have been more than 5 or 6 years old when it came out.
Not many people know, but back in the day, McDonald’s Happy Meals used to feed kids’ brains, not just their stomachs with delicious french fries. They honest to God included a paperback copy of various Charles Dickens’ novels. I really think this is what started me on my lifelong healthy reading habit at such a young age!
Anyway, I was watching Oliver! and something happens towards the end, I don’t want to say exactly what or which character, because I don’t want to give any spoilers. But I was thinking, no no no this is not right. I kept waiting for the ending I remembered from childhood to transpire, all the way until the final frames. Sadly, the tragic turn of events remained; there was no reversal. I did not get the Happy Meals ending that I had been hoping against hope for. I was NOT loving it!
Reviewing the Situation
Besides rewriting the ending to be less Grimace-inducing (see what I did there), below are a few other updates I would love to see in a new movie version of Oliver!
Can safely remove some of the musical numbers — for example, I don’t think anyone will miss “I Shall Scream.” Absolutely take out “My Name” since “As Long As He Needs Me” is the only song related to the villain Bill Sykes that should stay. By editing out several songs from the soundtrack, the movie will be a more manageable duration for kids than the two-hour+ length of the original film. We could even keep the cute and nostalgic orchestral “intermission” as a lesson to youngsters of how they used to show movies in theaters back in the 1960s.
BUT…need to add an original song by Neil Hannon of chamber pop group the Divine Comedy and Britcom Father Ted fame! He did such a fantastic job with the music for Wonka. So he is very well versed in composing for musicals with orphans in them.
Tom Hooper for director! Let’s forget about Cats the movie and instead focus on his tres magnifique film Les Miserables (2012). Now there’s a silver screen adaptation of a hit Broadway musical that definitely needs no remaking whatsoever. Well, apart from Russell Crowe’s subpar singing abilities…
Speaking of musical Toms…the whole thing would be produced by Tom Hulce, whom most people know as the actor who played Mozart in the unbeatable Amadeus from 1984. Perhaps many are unaware that he went on to produce many Broadway musicals hence, including the excellent Ain’t Too Proud about Motown legends The Temptations. As someone who has been on both the performing and business sides of the equation, he would be the perfect person for EP!
Who Will Buy my great casting ideas?
Maybe Antonio Banderas can play Fagin! Or, on second thought, who says the leader of the child thievery ring has to be played by a man? Dickens had the forethought to always refer to this character by last name only, which cleverly gives any future adaptations some flexibility. So, how about my friend Sarah Silverman?
The scene stealer (pun intended) Artful Dodger could also be a girl, a new face to give her a splashy big-screen debut. Oliver similarly needs to be a young superstar in the making. Preferably someone who can do his own singing, unlike in the original film.
Isa Briones, Eva Noblezada, or Ashley Park should play Nancy, who takes the young Oliver under her wing. Gotta have someone with Broadway experience and vocal chops (Hamilton, Miss Saigon, Hadestown, Mean Girls) to lend heft and pedigree.
And speaking of Hamilton, what does everyone think of Aaron Burr himself Leslie Odom Jr. for the part of Mr. Brownlow? That would be tremendous! I haven’t seen him sing and dance on screen since he had a small role in Smash, the Spielberg-produced TV series from ages ago that I am still going through withdrawal from. It has to be a popular, scandal-free actor, or else it would be too disturbing for the role of the kindly benefactor.
Given the large number of small background parts in this lavish production, there are many opportunities to sprinkle in unbilled cameos that would surprise and delight even the casual music fan. For example, Mandy Patinkin can be the coffin shop owner, and Lady Gaga can be the head of the orphanage who denies Oliver an additional helping of porridge. Selena Gomez as Nancy’s friend Bet. Donald Glover or Daniel Radcliffe as Noah Claypole…
Please Sir, I Want Some More
I hope you can now Consider Yourself someone like me who would be super pumped for a brand-new movie version of this beloved musical. And also, if anyone from McDonald’s is reading this, let’s bring back the classic literature to go along with the Food Glorious Food!
This was so fun and so great! 1. WOW. I went to McDonald's and all I got was this lousy Empire Strikes Back glass THAT I ALREADY HAD FIVE OF! I didn't need an excuse to beg for McDonald's, but getting some literature would have added to the whine for sure! 2. Can I submit Javier Bardem for......just about any roll...? Fagin? Bill S? OLIVER?! HA..too far. What about Natasha Lyonne for Fagin?! THAT would be a marvel! She would also make a KILLER Ms. Hannigan! Clearly we are going to need Bezos money to pull off our Broadway to Silver Screen production company dreams. If you know him, please shoot him a text, okay?